| "Hey, Roy, are you gonna stop by Rampart and see Gage today?" Chet asked as he and the other members of "A" shift were in the locker room changing out of their uniforms. |
| "Yeah, I thought I'd go after lunch. Why?" questioned the sandy-haired paramedic. |
| "I thought maybe you'd like some company," Chet said. |
| Roy paused for a moment before answering. "Sure, why not? I'll pick you up around one, alright?" |
| "Great!" Chet said, a small smile appearing beneath his silly moustache. Roy idly wondered why Chet was so enthusiastic about seeing the injured paramedic. No doubt he'd find out later. |
| Upon picking Chet at his place, Roy noticed the fireman was carrying a rather large, flat package. "Uh....Chet? What's in the package?" |
| Grinning, Chet answered. "Oh, just a little something I thought Gage might like. It's nothing really." |
| Roy noticed the "nothing" was almost as big as the side window and obstructing Chet's view of the front window. He then told him, "Either that 'nothing' is something, or it's the biggest nothing I've ever seen. How could you even see to get to the car?" |
| Chet grinned as he answered, "I used a periscope, Roy." |
| Just then, a dog ran out in front of Roy's car. Roy quickly maneuvered to avoid hitting it, but, unfortunately, the end result was not pretty. |
| Chet opened his eyes just in time to see a rather large rabbit scurry past him. He overheard the rabbit exclaim, "Oh my goodness!! I'm late!! I'm late!!" |
| "Oh man! I can't believe what I just saw! Hey, Roy, did you see that?!" Chet turned & looked to his left, but the drivers' seat was empty. Chet was surprised, but not alarmed. He opened the car door and hurried off in pursuit of the white rabbit. Looking up and down the street, Chet was just in time to catch a glimpse of it disappearing down a manhole. Chet sprinted off in pursuit. |
| Roy took a moment to gather himself together. In avoiding the dog, he had lost control of the car, which had ended up through a guard rail and into a ditch. |
| "Chet, are you alright?" he asked, looking to his passenger after making sure he had no injuries himself. He received no answer. Chet was slouched in the seat, unconscious. "Chet?" Roy questioned in a louder tone. Still no answer. Worried, Roy quickly opened his door and got out. |
| Chet stopped short at the manhole and looked around. "Roy should have been here... but..." He looked down at the manhole and remembered the rabbit. "I bet HE knows where Roy went." |
| He looked around once more and back to the hole before him. Chet sat down on the pavement and started to climb down the hole. He reached the bottom of the hole just in time to see the rabbit run through a tiny little door. "I can't fit through there." he thought to himself. "I have to get to that rabbit, but how?" |
| Chet looked around and tried to think of a way to get through the door. "If I had an entry tool...or axe...or the K12..." He looked around and saw a table with a pot of coffee next tot he door. Chet saw a note on the side of the pot that said 'DRINK ME.' |
| After drinking the entire pot of coffee, Chet started feeling really funny. He began to laugh hysterically. He tried to stop, but couldn't help himself. Suddenly, Chet realized his laughter was making him shrink. |
| As he managed to control his laughter, he was able to fit through the door. There was, however, one small problem. |
| The door was locked. Chet looked around everywhere for a key. Finally, he looked up and saw a key lying on the table where he had found the coffee pot. |
| "Oh man!" Chet said, slapping his forehead. "I should have checked the door first. How am I gonna get that key?" |
| As Chet pondered his dilemma, he glanced around the room. Off in a corner, he noticed some fire fighting equipment. |
| Chet couldn't help but grin when he spied a ladder. He rushed over and grabbed it. He positioned it so that he could climb up and get the key off the table. As he took the first rung, Chet was puzzled when his foot hit the ground. The rung was there, yet his foot went right through it. |
| He tried a second and third rung, getting the same results. Chet continued to ponder his predicament. Then, he noticed an axe lying on the floor in the other corner. |
| Chet thought to himself. "When a firefighter encounters a locked door, how does he gain entry?" Chet grinned and went over to pick up the axe. It felt right in his hands, just like the one he used on the engine. |
| Taking the axe over to the locked door, he braced himself, sending the head of the axe into the wood. He gave it a good, solid thump next to the doorknob, feeling the lock pop. |
| Chet set the axe aside, leaning it against the wall and tried the door. He pushed it open, easily. As the door swung away from him, Chet was amazed at the view in front of him. |
| The view was the most spectacular technicolor he'd ever seen. It made the room he was in appear black and white. There were huge colorful flowers...as tall as he was. The sky was cerulean blue with puffy white clouds. Chet wandered out the door onto a yellow brick road. He heard paw prints behind him and whirled around to find Henry following him. |
| "How did you get here, boy?" He leaned down to pet the dog. Standing up again, he noticed a blue bubble descending from the sky. |
| Before his eyes appeared Craig Brice...wearing a pink flowing prom gown. "Are you a good witch or what?" Craig asked. |
| Chet glanced behind him. |
| Craig sighed, "Well?" |
| Chet looked at him. "Come on, Brice. What's with the dress?" |
| Brice stared at Chet. "Wrong answer...come on, this is your delusion, not mine...are you a good witch or a BAD one?" |
| Chet laughed, "Is Gage behind this?" |
| "Answer the question!" Craig snapped. |
| "Okay, okay. I'm not a witch at all. I'm a fireman! |
| "Did you bring your engine?" |
| Chet shook his head. "I don't have an engine." |
| Craig snorted. "Then you will have to walk. Follow that orange brick road." |
| "Don't you mean the yellow one?" Chet asked. |
| "Not in this story." Craig pointed to the orange road. "Follow the orange brick road...Walk in a straight line; no hopping, skipping or jumping. Rules are important here in ZO!" |
| "Zo?" asked Chet. |
| "Yes, ZO..." Craig wondered. "Wonderland wasn't good enough. You have to wonder here.....so take yourself to the Ruby city and find the pretty good Wizard of Zo." |
| "Will that help me get home?" Chet laughed. |
| Craig stared at him. "Probably not. After all, he isn't wonderful. Now take that mutt and go follow the orange brick road!" |
| With that, Craig disappeared in a poof. Chet blinked. "Okay," he said to himself. "Come on, Henry! Let's follow the orange brick road!" |
| Roy went around to the passenger side of the car and after some effort, managed to get the door open. He leaned inside to Chet out. Since he had no equipment with him, the most he could so was get a pulse, respiration and check pupil reaction. That in itself was difficult without a penlight, but somehow he managed. Roy was concerned when he found the right pupil was dilated. Chet probably had a concussion. Roy went on to check for injuries, finding a bump on the head just above the hairline. He'd either hit his head on the dashboard or doorframe. A quick but thorough search failed to turn up any other injuries as far as Roy could tell. As no cars had passed by since the accident, he realized he'd have to leave Chet and go for help. |
| "You know, Henry, I'm getting sick of looking at this stupid orange road," Chet remarked to his canine companion after they had been walking for almost an hour. |
| "Woof," Henry seemed to agree. |
| "And who is this Wizard of Zo anyway? That's what I'd like to know." Chet muttered out loud. |
| This time, Henry remained silent. After another five minutes of walking, Chet realized he was hearing the clank of metal. It seemed to be coming from a grove of trees to his right. Puzzled, Chet left the orange brick road to investigate. He walked through the grove of trees and suddenly came to the edge of a clearing. |
| His jaw dropped at what he saw there. Two knights in full armor on huge horses, likewise armored, were engaged in combat. Even as Chet watched, one knight unhorsed the other with his lance. Chet froze as he felt the sharp edge of a steel blade at his throat, hearing a low voice in his ear.... |
| "Who dares intrude on the sport of King Arthur and his knights?!" |
| "Um....I....uh...." Chet tried to answer and swallowed hard. |
| "Answer me knave, or feel the blade of my sword!" |
| Just as the knight was ready to raise his sword up toward Chet's ear, a black stallion appeared from nowhere. The rider was dressed all in black, with a cape and a mask covering his eyes and forehead. |
| One of the other knights yelled, "Damn! Foiled again by Zorro!!!" |
| The knights and Zorro drew their swords on each other, fighting fiercely with all their might. Chet nervously watched from the sidelines. Several times, Zorro's sword made perfect Z's in everything it touched. |
| Finally, the sword fight ended as quickly as it started. Beaming in from thin air, Capt. Kirk and Spock zapped the knights and Zorro with their phasers. All were knocked unconscious. Kirk turned to the bewildered fireman and said, "Get your ass in gear. There are damsels to be rescued." |
| Chet tried to shake the nightmare from his head. "How do I get out of here," he mumbled? |
| Spock told him, "Most illogical. The same way you came in." |
| With that, the two Enterprise officers faded from sight. |
| One of the knights sat up slowly. "Not again! Why can't those two space warriors leave us alone?!" The knight got to his feet with some effort and went to help the others. |
| Another knight removed his helmet. Chet was shocked to see it was his captain. |
| "Lancelot, you twit! Don't you know that's what always happens?" he asked. |
| "Cap?" Chet called out, getting the attention of the knights. Zorro was still unconscious on the ground. |
| "You will address my King Arthur as 'My Lord', not as this 'Cap'! growled the knight called Lancelot. |
| "I'm...s...sorry! I thought he was someone else! Umm...I have to go!" Chet rapidly backed away from the knights, as well as the clearing. He decided the orange brick road wasn't such a bad place to be after all. |
| "Kelly, you get back here! You'll be on latrine duty for a year, do you hear me?!" Captain Stanley's voice echoed behind him. Chet turned and ran blindly through the trees. |
| As Chet continued running through the trees, he found a clearing with a little cottage. Out of breath and Henry on his heels, Chet paused to catch his breath. |
| The cottage was a very nice, well-kept home with a white picket fence surrounding it. "Man, Henry, I'm thirsty from all that running. You want something to drink?" |
| Henry only looked at him with his sad puppy dog eyes. Chet grinned, thinking what a great companion this basset hound was. |
| Man and beast proceeded towards the cottage. No one answered the door when he knocked feverishly upon it. He tried the door and found it to be unlocked. As the proceeded inside, he was yelling, "Hello?? Is anyone here?" |
| Chet stood in the main room of the little cottage, listening to see if anyone was home. Since no one answered, he assumed he and Henry were alone. |
| "Nice digs they have here, Henry," Chet said to his sad-eyed companion as they surveyed the bright, cozy interior of the well-kept house. |
| Glancing around, he noticed three chairs lined up neatly in front of the fireplace. A great big cushy chair, a medium-sized straight back chair and an itty bitty teeny tiny chair. |
| "Aw man, don't tell me..." Chet swung toward the table behind him and approached cautiously, peering at the three different sized bowls. "...porridge!" |
| "I know how this one goes, Henry! I fall asleep and some mean old bears show up! That's not my scene, let's get out of here," Chet said as he ducked back outside again. |
| "We have to find that road and that wizard. I don't know how to get out of here! Darn that Brice!" Chet muttered to himself as headed off in another direction, Henry at his heels. |
| After walking through the woods for fifteen minutes, Chet came across a trail of breadcrumbs. |
| "That's weird," he said to himself. Henry began gobbling up the breadcrumbs and Chet followed him along. |
| Roy climbed back up to the road and looked around. So far, not one car had passed by. It was obviously a lightly traveled road. Roy tried to remember if he had seen any houses shortly before the accident. He wasn't sure, but he thought there had been a driveway a half mile or so back. The area was heavily wooded, with no signs of habitation, but, he was sure there must be something nearby. |
| "Well I can't stand here all day. Maybe I'll get lucky and a car will come by," Roy said to himself. Taking a last glance down at his car, he headed back up the road from the direction they had come. |
| Chet followed Henry deeper into the forest. "Bread crumbs," Chet grumbled to himself. "I'm willing to bet that somewhere up ahead is a gingerbread house." |
| Suddenly, two children came barrelling down the path in his direction. |
| "Helwp us! Helwp us!" The little red-haired boy screamed. |
| **Hmmmmmmm, funny, I never imagined Hansel with a lisp.** Chet reached out, scooping the children up in his arms. "Whoa now, hold on." He looked from one to the other. "Let me see, you must be Hansel and you must be Gretal." |
| The children puzzled looked at Chet, then each other. "And there's a mean old lady chasing you to turn you into big cookies." |
| The little girl's red pigtails bounced as she spoke. "Oh, no sir." she said as she shook her head back and forth…. "I'm Buffy!" |
| "And I'm Jody!" the young man pointed his thumb at his chest. "And there's no mwean owld wady chasing us." |
| "There's no mean old lady chasing us," Buffy repeated. |
| "What are you running from then?" Chet gently placed Buffy and Jody on the ground, kneeling in front of them. |
| "Mr. French!" They said in unison. |
| "And hwe's weally mad!" Jody's eyes began to tear. |
| Buffy nodded in agreement, hugging her yellowed-haired, white and blue polka-dot doll close. |
| Sensing the children's' fear, Chet grew wary himself. "Well, why exactly is he so mad?" |
| "Cause," sniffed Jody. "Some dawg ate awl the brwead for the stuffing." |
| "There you children are!" Mr. French appeared behind Buffy and Jody, somewhat winded. Looking at the man, Chet blinked several times, trying to clear the fog from his brain. |
| "Marco?" |
| "Who is Marco, young man?" Mr. French asked, peering closely at him. "And does that creature belong to you?" Mr. French/Marco asked, pointing down at Henry. |
| "I...I'm sorry. You look a lot like someone I know," Chet stammered. He glanced at Henry. "Uh...I've never seen that dog before in my life, man!" |
| "A likely story!" Mr. French/Marco sniffed. "Come along, children. Since my stuffing for the chicken is missing, dinner is ruined!" |
| "All wight, we'wre coming," Jody said. |
| "Uncle Bill will be home soon anyway," Buffy said, with a smile, hugging her doll tighter. |
| "Since I already have the chicken, perhaps I can prepare a different dish, chicken fajitas?" Mr. French/Marco muttered softly to himself. |
| Chet's eyes lit up at the mention of food and his stomach growled audibly. |
| "I suggest you go home, young man," Mr. French/Marco said, giving Chet a stern look. Chet was disappointed that no dinner invitation would be forthcoming. |
| "Yes, sir," he said. |
| "And take that creature with you!" Mr. French/Marco pointed down at Henry, who was looking up with sad, brown eyes. |
| Before Chet realized it, the man and the two kids were gone. Chet's stomach rumbled again and Henry woofed. |
| "I know, I know! Let's try to find some chow," Chet said. He looked around and suddenly noticed there was an orange brick path off to his right. He headed for it, Henry at his heels. |
| As Chet entered the orange brick road, he swore he could smell the aroma of greasy, overcooked food floating through the air. Henry noticed it too. |
| "C'mon, Henry. Let's follow that aroma. Maybe it's something to chow down on-----no matter how bad it smells." |
| They didn't walk far when they saw a 1950's stylish drive in with many teenagers surrounding it. The name on the establishment was simply called ARNOLD's. As he approached, a motorcycle zoomed by with a man wearing a leather jacket, jeans and a t shirt. Chet could have sworn the man driving it looked exactly like Dr. Morton. |
| "Doc?" he called out. |
| The cyclist zoomed by again, stopping his cycle and said, "AYEEEEEE" with a thumb up in the air. |
| Chet stood and stared in astonishment for a moment, before following the guy in the leather jacket inside the building. |
| Once inside, Chet took the booth closest to the door. Henry sat at his feet. Both watched the motorcycle man go over to and give the jukebox, which had been playing 'Earth Angel', a good whack. Suddenly, the voice of the Big Bopper filled the room, singing about 'Chantilly Lace'. |
| "That's better," the man in the leather said and nodded. He walked over to a booth occupied by three teen-aged boys. |
| "Hey Fonzie!" "Hi, Fonz." "Fonzie, hi!" three voices spoke at once. |
| "Cunningham, my office, now!" the man barked, motioning his thumb toward the men's room. A tall, skinny red-haired boy got up and walked through the door, following the leather-jacketed biker. The two remaining boys exchanged glances. |
| "Can I take your order, hon?" a female voice suddenly asked from Chet's left. Surprised, he looked up to see a waitress standing there. |
| "Uh...sure. Lemme have a cheeseburger, fries and a shake," Chet said quickly. |
| "Anything else?" the waitress asked, scribbling down the order, while snapping her gum. |
| "Uh, could you make that two burgers?" Chet asked, suddenly remembering Henry, who was crouched at his feet. |
| "Two burgers, all right. I'll be right back," she said, heading off to the kitchen. |
| Just as Chet was starting to check out the joint again, he saw an oriental man headed his way. |
| "Hey, you! No dogs allowed!" the man who appeared to be the cook, said excitedly. Chet slouched in his seat. |
| "OUT!" The excited man yelled at Chet. |
| "Okay, okay. Come on, Henry!" Chet and the dog left the diner. "Man," said Chet. "I could have gone for those burgers." He glanced at Henry. "Where to now, boy? Will we ever find the station?" |
| Man and dog started to walk. They walked for what seemed like hours. Finally, Chet was so exhausted; he sat down on the ground, barely able to move. He rubbed his eyes. When he opened them again, the world had moved from what seemed to be technicolor back to shades of black, white and gray. A small boy stood looking over him. |
| "Hi, Mister…can I pet your dog, Mister?" |
| Chet blinked. "Sure, kid, go ahead." |
| The boy began to pet Henry. "What's his name, Mister?" |
| "It's Henry." |
| "Wow. He's really a nice dog, Mister. I'd like a pet, but we don't got one...well, I did have a turtle once, but I accidentally left him out of his pond...and Whitey, that's my friend, well, he stepped on him." |
| Chet winced. "That's too bad, kid." |
| The kid sighed. "Yeah, so Dad says I can't have a pet 'til I show some 'sponsibility. But I don't even know what it is, so hows can I show him it?" |
| Chet grinned. Just then, an older boy ran up. "Beav, Mom says dinner's ready. You better hurry; I've been looking all over for you." |
| The smaller boy nodded. "Okay, Wally." He turned to Chet. "Bye, Mister." |
| Chet waved, "Bye, kid." |
| Chet watched the kids leave and turned back to Henry. "Well, Henry...where to now?" |
| "You know," Chet started. "You are really not much help here." Henry looked at Chet with his big, droopy eyes. |
| Chet got to his feet and started to walk. His world slowly lost its gray appearance and began to return to color. Before long, he could hear hoof beats coming up behind him. |
| "Who could that be...?" He asked Henry, who, of course, failed to answer. |
| A cloud of dust followed the pair of horsemen riding up to the weary travelers. Chet watched closely as the two men rode up. |
| One was a dark haired man, riding a pinto. The other man was older. His hair was light and he was riding a tan horse. The pair stopped their mounts and quickly dismounted. |
| "And just what do you think you're doing here?" the older man asked. "This is the Ponderosa. It is Cartwright land you're traveling on!" *Roy?* |
| Chet stood and stared at the pair, mouth hanging open. |
| "What's the matter, Stranger? Cat got your tongue?" The younger man asked, with a lopsided grin. *Gage?* "What's your name?" |
| Chet glanced from one to the other and back again. "Chet. But you already know that...." |
| "Pa, he don't look too good." The dark haired man said in a hushed tone to the other. |
| The fair haired man shook his head and slowly advanced toward the dazed Chet. "No he doesn't, Little Joe. Maybe we should take him into Virginia City and see what Roy has to say about him." |
| Chet looked dumbfounded at the pair. "BUT YOU'RE ROY!!" he shouted before he thought. Once again, the pair of cowboys inched towards him. |
| "Pa, he thinks you're Sheriff Coffee!" 'Little Gage'...I mean, 'Little Joe' exclaimed. |
| 'Pa' looked at Chet and reached out to take his arm. "Maybe you'd better come with us. Did you hit your head?" |
| Chet just tried to back away. He pulled his arm back sharply and stumbled over Henry. He landed on the ground with a resounding thud and stared up at the Cartwright's hovering over him. |
| All Chet could hear was an echoing voice ringing through his the buzz in his ears. Everything started to spin. The edges of his vision began to blur. |
| "Did you hit your head? Chet...are you okay? Did you hit your head? Did you hit your head?" |
| Chet slowly opened his eyes. |
| He shook his head as he tried to clear it. He looked around to see who the voice was talking to him. He could no longer find Henry. However, he did see a familiar face. "Marco?" |
| "Marco? Who is Marco," the man asked. He was dressed in some kind of strange uniform, with a gun in his hand. Yet, it was a gun unlike Chet had ever seen before. Come to think of it, Chet noticed he was dressed the same way. |
| "Don't be funny, Marco," Chet muttered trying to get up. |
| "Easy there, Pal," said (?) Marco. "It looks like a nasty bump on your head. He glanced around and yelled for someone named Starbuck. |
| When Starbuck arrived, Chet noticed he looked exactly like Vince Howard. Behind him was a lady, but, he couldn't see who she was. |
| Starbuck asked, "Yeah, Apollo? Did Chet hit his head again?" |
| From behind Starbuck, the lady stepped into view. It was Dixie. She asked, "Is there anything I can do Apollo? Chet?" |
| Chet muttered, "Yeah, get me out of this nightmare!" |
| Just as Chet was about to say something else, there was a flash of blinding white light. |
| "Argh!" Chet tried to put his hand up to block the light, but his arms seemed to be held down. |
| "Chet, keep your hands down. Chet. Chet!" a familiar voice sounded nearby. |
| "Roy?" Chet questioned softly. |
| "Yeah, Chet, I'm here," Roy said. |
| Chet blinked his eyes and opened them to see an unfamiliar paramedic kneeling over his with a penlight. This accounted for the blinding white light. Without moving his head, Chet slid his gaze to his left. Roy was crouched there, with a concerned look on his face. |
| "What happened?" Chet asked. |
| "We sort of...crashed," Roy answered, looking away for a moment. |
| "Oh man! Did I hit my head? That would account for that really freaky dream I was having!" Chet spoke in a rush. |
| "Yeah, you did. I'm sorry, Chet," Roy's serious blue eyes looked back at Chet's. |
| "Don't sweat it, Roy. I'll be alright. Are you okay?" Chet wanted to know. |
| "I'm alright. Guess I got lucky," Roy said. He stood back as the paramedics and attendants loaded Chet into the ambulance. Roy followed under his own power. He had little choice since his car was in a ditch. |
| They were halfway to Rampart when Chet suddenly remembered something. "Hey, Roy? Where's my package?" |
| "It's under the seat," Roy answered, pointing to down. "What is it anyway?" |
| Chet allowed himself a little grin. "Just a little something for my favorite pigeon!" |
| Several days later, Chet was resting in his hospital bed when the door slowly opened. The throbbing in his head had subsided somewhat, so he wasn't too much aware of the pain. |
| Johnny hobbled in on crutches. He stared at Chet a moment before speaking. "Chet, I don't know about you. I really don't. Just when I thought I knew you how to read you, you come up with the damnest jolt for me. How in the hell did you know I needed that?" |
| "Well......um......you were laid up in the hospital and I thought you needed cheered up. I mean the last time we saw you before my accident; you were pretty down in the dumps. I just thought it would you recover more quickly." |
| "Chester B. Kelly, if you ever tell the guys what you did for me, I'll deny it." |
| With that, Johnny hobbled out of the room. Chet laid his head back on the pillow and started snickering. About that time, Chet could see a rather large white rabbit scamper down the hallway, screaming, "I'm late! I'm late!!" |
| Out in the corridor, Johnny had the last snicker. He saw Chet pull the covers up over his head and scrunch down in his bed. On the other side of the doorway, Roy asked, "Are you ever gonna tell him the white rabbit was actually on his way to a birthday party down the hall?" |
| "What? And ruin a good thing? Not on your life, Roy! Revenge is soooo sweet." Johnny finally found the last laugh with Chet. |